Thankful: Pregnancy Edition

This is the post I need to write today. I am get very tired and frustrated. Pregnancy has been wonderful but I am ready to have this baby. And he does not want to be had yet. I need to remember what I am thankful for today.

Although I wrote this days before Thanksgiving (see the reason for doing so here!),  the things I have to be thankful for this year are so numerous I hope this post doesn't go on forever. I apologize in advance.


The things I am thankful for this year (yes, they are almost all pregnancy related!):

1. A loving and understanding husband. Even when hormones are high, he has been wonderful.
2. A healthy me. 
3. A healthy baby, to be born soon! so soon!
4. A pretty "easy" pregnancy. No complications, no issues. (Ok, pregnancy is not that easy but having it go well really makes it seem that much better!)
5. Maternity leave. Thank you work for being so generous in the time you allow mothers to have off.
6. A really great doctor who is kind and understanding.
7. A supportive family and friends. 
8. A safe home to bring our baby home to.
9. Naps. Thank you naps for making me feel better when I couldn't sleep a whole night.
10. Chips and dip. Thank you for tasting so good every day the last 10 months. 

So what are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?

Almost time for decorating the tree!

Pregnancy: Weeks 37 & 38

Weight:  202 lbs. (by the end of week 36 I have gained 59 lbs.)

Weeks to Go: 2. Really, 15 days until my estimated due date.

What I feel: Anxious, still. And tired. And big.

A lot of people at work keeping saying "you are still here?". Why yes, I am. Although I am wishing I was at home snuggling with a newborn. I can't say my coworkers aren't nice about it, they just sound really surprised when I am in the office each morning.
I am working from home in the afternoon which allows me to at least put on p.j.'s and put my feet up. Thank goodness!



We are just waiting now. And I am so excited I think I am terribly impatient. I have caught up with Downton Abbey so now there is really nothing to look forward to until he gets here!

Oh, also, does everyone at my work get sick this time of year? I have seriously cleaned my desk area every day to stop the infections I know are flying around. One of my co-workers has a nasty habit of taking pieces of paper into the bathroom on his way to the copier. Yikes! I am a germ-a-phob at this point and this does not help. I am hesitant to mention it to him as it might be a awkward conversation, but icky!


What I look like:  Very round! I think I have "rounded" out in the last few weeks. As a result of a still growing fetus, I am also still growing. Out mainly. But around the hip areas as well.

Oh, and I have a few stretch marks. Not pretty. I broke down and bought some coconut butter cream to reduce the appearance. I am hoping with some tough workouts and long runs in the future they will be reduced any further. Oh the joys of motherhood!

Oh Things I didn't know about pregnancy until now: Braxton Hicks contractions feel like real ones. Only difference is they go away after a while. And they go away if you lay down versus sitting up. What fun! Fake contractions!

I had a recent doctor's visit where they monitored the baby and found he is very active (yes, my bladder knows that too) and I have pretty steady contractions sometimes. Still just getting ready the nurse said. Oh boo. No October for us.

Timeline happenings: We have now reached full term! YA! 
Which means this little guy can come any day now. And I mean ANY DAY.

Things for Baby: We had a lovely shower at my work the other day and received a fun play mat toy for the baby. I am excited to have play time with him and use this cute play mat. It even has 20 minutes of music! 

And the Husband says: "Go ahead and lie down. I will make dinner."-Thank you. Those are some of the sweetest words known to a mother-to-be.

"Next year we can use our Zoo coupons!" -We buy a local coupon book every year from one of the kids around the neighborhood and it always includes several buy one get one free coupons for the zoo for kids under 12. Finally we can use it next year!

A Few Favorites

I started to write a post about things that were annoying me. For some reason I felt annoyed this week. Not sure if my pregnancy hormones are going crazy again or I am just tired, but things kept coming up that I find annoying (like men's socks not matching their dress pants at work. I mean really, is it necessary I worry about this issue?)

Alas, this feeling of annoyance does nothing for my attitude, so I won't feed it this time.  Instead I think I will write about a few favorites, challenging my inner positive feelings.

Beautiful Fall Day in Pennsylvania

a few of my favorites right now:

• I found this blog somehow, some post within a post maybe? I forget. Regardless, I love her post about post-baby health and weight loss. She is very honest, which is a relief. I know a majority of it disappears after the baby is born, there can be some time before you get back to that magical pre-baby weight. This subject is on my quite a bit now. I want to formulate a working plan and her approach seems really reasonable. I know it will all come off, just a matter of time. 
• This book. I started listening to it on audiobook while I work from home in the afternoons (thank you pregnancy, at least I can be home in my sweatpants and a little bit more comfortable). Another reminder that a journey with no end is ok.
• Fuzzy Socks. It is getting cold out there! My body is hot (oh thank you baby)but my feet are cold. Thank you fuzzy socks.
• Our baby's name. Which is a secret until the big day but lets just say I LOVE IT! I am so excited to meet him, finally! 
• Fall. Really could there be a better season? Some days are sunny and beautiful, others are cold and rainy. Perfect for long walks and eating a homemade batch of soup (check, did both of these things this week!)

Busy.

A beautiful, non-busy day at Lake Erie

Some days what I need to hear hits me directly in the face.

For instance, I have been getting lots of phone calls, text, and e-mails asking how I am doing. All things considered, I am doing great! I am almost 37 weeks pregnant and very healthy. 

But when I reply to an e-mail, text or phone call I always say I am busy. It is 9 times out of 10 my first response. As if the first thing on my mind is my busy-ness. 

Which is not true.

I am working 40 hours a week still, yes sometimes that is busy, but I have given up a lot of my work to my co-worker who will be filling in for me.

I am pregnant, so yes once a week I have to go to doctor's visits. Oh and I like to sleep 12 hours a night.

I am married,  so yes I cook and clean and help my husband but lets face it, I AM PREGNANT. I clean the minimum I can to get by and make sure my house doesn't smell funky. I am not "Susie homemaker" right now.

To sum that all up, it really means I AM NOT THAT BUSY!

I come home, take a nap, eat and then read or watch some television. 3-4 days a week I walk about 20-30 minutes after work. And this is about it.

So why do I say I am busy?

Do I feel like I should be busy? As if being pregnant is not enough for me? As if I am trying to be busy to not be something else? Or not deal with things, emotions or people? Is this really all a front?

I really hate to admit this, but yes I think my busy response relates to all of those. 

I don't want to be busy. I don't want to be lazy either, I want a happy medium. One where I get things done I need to but also realize that it is completely ok to sit for hours talking to a friend or reading a good book. 

That's where I got hit directly in the face. 

I have been spending more time browsing the internet due to new internet usage around our household (we used to have a limited amount of internet. bad idea. don't do that). I find myself reading some great articles, listening to great podcast or internet radio stations and then finding awesome blogs to follow. 

Then I stumbled upon this.
And this.
And then this. 

So really, why do I think I am busy? 

This topic really hit home for me this week. I know I should be more mindful. Take in every moment, they are fleeting. And deal with an people, emotions or scary thoughts upfront. There is no need to hide in being busy. I don't want to. I don't need to.

I think it will take some more introspection. I am sure things in my life will change whenever, if ever, our baby is here. Maybe then I will know busy.


So for now, if you ask, no I am not busy. 

More Baby/Parent Book Recommendations

A while back,  I posted about several baby and pregnancy books I devoured in my first few months of pregnancy. I got a lot out of those books but realized maybe I need to read some more about parenting this child.

Here is a quick review (and recommendations) of the parenting books I have read so far:

Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman: Amidst all criticism I see on the internet for this book, it still ranks pretty high in the New York Times best sellers list. I was thrilled to see our library had several copies (yeah free books!) and I snagged one immediately. I devoured the book in about 3 days. I found it very interesting. Pamela begins her parenting in France, where she quickly sees a difference in child rearing. Even little 2-3 month old tykes are sleeping through the night! Pamela dives into the psychology and the practicality of the French parent. I really think they have some great points. Getting your child to eat bleu cheese and carrots from the start really is possible.  Although that part of the book got a lot of criticism in other articles I read, one article stressed that of course this seems strange or cold to Americans, given our relationship to food we can hardly get ourselves to eat bleu cheese, let alone our children!

I found the book to be extremely interesting and made me question some common American practices that could really use a change. Isn't it good for everyone if my child shows respect and social skills at a young age? And the task of keeping my child out of obesity statistics is only going to increase, a statistic French parents rarely deal with.

On Becoming Babywise by Gary Ezzo & Robert Bucknam: Another kind of controversial book according to comments on various websites. Many of the criticism comes from the  "tough", baby on a schedule talk the book has. Although it might seem a little extreme to some people, babies have the ability to get on a schedule and do well. If they learn how the world works, the book argues, they can be more independent, appreciative and even more attentive during awake times. I am a believer in raising children who understand their schedule is not the end all to be all every day. Moms and Dads have schedules, commitments and even time away from the children too. I liked the books approach to the first few months of your baby's life. I plan on using some of the tools when necessary. Even with harsh criticism abound, I'd say give this book a try at least.

The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvery Karp: I will admit the title of this book was what jumped out to me at the library. I think the author did a great job giving concrete things to help you baby sleep better. I love his tips on swaddling, getting your baby to settle down and even how to do so with the fussiest babies. Since it is quite the guessing game as to the temperament of your baby before he starts wailing, the "tool kit" Dr. Karp gives is a great start. My husband even joined in on the fun of this book and we tried our hand at swaddling some teddy bears. He also read part of this book and found the advice to be practical. I hope the pre-reading will pay off!

I recommend this book for its practical, and hopefully useful advice. I think the books is a great start to finding ways to calm your baby, even with no babies to practice on.

So there you go, a few more books for those parents-to-be. Happy reading! Happy parenting!

On Pregnancy: Things I Miss & Things I Am Nervous About

The husband in action. Thank goodness I have you!

First, pregnancy is awesome. I hope that every woman who wants to experience it gets a chance. I could not be more happy to be pregnant.

BUT

I still miss things. I was thinking about this the other day, wondering how much I really did these things before and if after pregnancy I would still want to do them. Is it because I can't do (or have or feel like doing) that I miss them or do I miss them because they are things I truly enjoy?

Regardless, here is a list of thing I miss:

• Sushi (sounds so good, guess I could get the veggie only kind...)

• Road bike riding (I know I can bike ride, but road biking is so much more fun)

• Running (oh I miss this so much)

• Coffee (again, I know I could have a little coffee but I tried to cut it out of my diet just to be safe)

• Coffee creamer (no need to have I guess?!)

• My old clothes (so sad, they are in a box in a closet)

• My old shoes (darn you swollen feet)

• My feet (wish I could reach them)

• Sweating (goes along with running and biking)

• Tuna melts (nothing taste as good as with tuna fish than mayo! )

In the list making mood I am in (which is a sign of type A personality I think), here are things I am nervous about (and would welcome any free advice for)

• Labor. Um yes. How big? Fit where? When? How long? Oh my goodness. The more I read the more I am terrified. I hate to be so doom & gloom about this but it does not sound fun. Once I had a kidney stone (yes, like an old person) and the nurse told me it was worse than giving birth. I hope that is true. On the flip side, one pregnancy book told me if I am positive throughout the entire experience it will go a lot smoother. Uh huh.
•  Breastfeeding. Never done it. Rarely seen it done. Very nervous about this. I took a class on it last week and I am still nervous. This could be a long first few weeks. I am determined to try it out.
• Sleeping. My current sleep schedule (8-9 hours on average) still leaves me tired. I can't imagine trying to take care of a tiny human being AND not sleeping. Oh this could get ugly, fast.

And these are only this weeks list of anxieties. I think my whining has increased in the last few months and with that comes anxiety. Thankfully my very rational husband tries to calm me down at least. He is on board with all the decisions so far but like most life events, making plans ahead of time can quickly lead to changing plans in the moment. 

For myself, the best I can do to calm is to focus on relaxing. The husband and I spent most of the afternoon lounging at the beach yesterday. It was a beautiful day, no clouds, a little breeze and perfect temperature. Unwinding after work seems to help too. A quick shower, comfy clothes and some food does the job. I just need to remember to keep calm and everything will be oK!

Let's hope for less pain, more confidence and a little sleep. I would be happy with mediocre sleep I think. 

Dear Me: A Letter to My Teenage Self

In a long list of my favorite blogs, one of my top read is Chatting at the Sky. Emily Freeman does a wonderful job of putting into words those difficult moments, happy memories and reminders to just be ourselves. I really enjoy her peaceful tone, in a world that seems over stretched it is a breath of fresh air. She is launching a new book: Graceful and wanted to celebrate by having women write letters to themselves. I am hoping on board with 277 other women this week and telling myself a few things.


Dear Teenage Me,

You once wrote a letter in 1st grade to your 12th grade self. That letter, sealed away in your "boxes of life", will be only the beginning. There is so much you are going to learn in the next 6 years!

Even though your teenage years seem to last forever, they will be fleeting. And even now I am not that much older than you but so much will change. And no matter how it looks from the outside sometimes, everything will come as it may.

The long nights spent swooning over heartthrobs, like Freddie Prince Jr., with your best friends will be some of your favorite memories. Spend more time with your girlfriends. They will become amazing women who share so much more than high school memories with you. Your need for them later in life will be great. You will miss them when you move away to college, loose touch with some that don't share your values, but the ones that stick around will be so important.

Stay away from some of those boys. Become friends with them. Don't date them all. Enjoy being a flirtatious woman but don't let any of them hold you down. They won't last (I am sorry to report) and they will treat you like crap some times. Find guys who support you as a friend, not those that need your support. Your ability to help others is not meant to keep you in a relationship where you are doing all the work. Leave him now and never look back. I know this seems harsh, but it will save a lot of heartbreak. Trust me.

Oh, and if something a boy does is against your morals, drop him like a bad habit. I don't care how sweet or cute he is, it is not going to work. You will lose yourself in ways you never imagined. Get out now.

In the meantime, travel as much as possible. Visit every place you can. Take a road trip. Become a part of a mission team. Travel to help others that need it more than you can imagine. Don't let someone or some event stand in your way. You are making your own life plan. Do what feels right. Don't let money or boyfriends stand in your way.

Their will be some very trying times to come. Your faith in the word "family" will become tested. Time and time again you will ask yourself "why is this happening to me?". Do not doubt your gut. If you are scared or lonely or lost, just pray harder. Things will work out because you make choices that are right for you. Even though they seem hard, backwards or just plain suck, make this life yours. Cry your heart out. Then stop. Look around at all that is wonderful and pick yourself up. Do exactly what is best for you, what you want and what you need. Everyone who can't see that will need time. Let them have their space while you build the life you want.

With all that goes on around you in the next 6 years, just remember that there is someone exactly special for you. That man will lift you up and bring you right where you were suppose to always be, next to him. It will always be this way, even when he tells you some hard truths and pushes you to become a better person, he just wants to support you. Support you have been looking for all your life. His words will make you realize that a successful life is not one built with money but with happiness. If you are happy you will be successful. 

He will be the man of your dreams and together you will create a life that is everything you could have hoped for (and oh so much more). He will love you like no one has and will treat you with respect you can only imagine. He will be your best friend.

Don't dye your hair right before Easter. You will look like a sickly blond for many months. It is not your best look.

Make each day count. Spend extra time with your friends. Drive a little further than you need so you can listen to your favorite Yellowcard album. Go to all the football games you want. Eat that hug piece of chocolate cake and love it.

Don't be mad at things you cannot fix. Don't hate your roommate because she struggles with so much. Pray for her, find a new roommate and continue to help where you can (listening is fine, partying with is not).

Those high school things that matter will fade with time. Enjoy them now but keep them in their place. Don't drag the should have, could have, would haves with you. They are great memories but they belong in photo albums not in your current life.

Train a little more in high school. Your running career is just started and it will bring you so much happiness followed with success. You will learn to love it, I promise.

Work hard but not silly. Make all the friends you can. Smile more. Your smile lights up a room, don't let anyone put that down.

Buy a few less pairs of shoes and jeans. Save a little more.

Above all, do not let other people tell you how to live, what was a good choice or what went wrong. Take advice, think deeply about it, and do what is best for you.

I love you teenage self. You are a truly remarkable woman. You will grow into your own skin eventually, I promise.

(And some day when you are a mother-to-be, write a letter to your unborn son and tuck away until he is a teenageager. I think he might need some advice too.)

Love, Yourself.

Weekend Links: Baby Style

                           

Only because I have baby things, baby names and baby happenings on my brain this week, this edition of weekend links is full of baby related items. Enjoy! Happy Friday!

• Heavier children + antibiotics? Interesting study covered by the BBC.
• Baby essentials from Small Notebook. I love Rachel's advice!
• Great advice for new moms, especially those working ones. Oh Joy!'s blog always brightens my day. Her pictures are always lovely, it's a color burst to my Google Reader!
• Not that this is stopping us from having children, but the reality stinks. A great article from Christian Science Monitor on childcare cost.