Rapahel: Three Months

What? Three months?

It used to be that three months was forever time in pregnancy-land. Now three months flies by as Raphael grows just as fast.

Month three was an adjustment period for us. Thankfully Raphael handled everything perfectly. Even using a bottle came easy to him! I think taking him to daycare is harder on Mike and I then him. For now it is his routine.

Learning about our friends!

Speaking of Mike, a few photographs in month three provide all the evidence needed to prove Raphael is Mike's son. Those two are two peas in a pod. Daddy and baby time consist of a lot of napping and some "adventure time". Having a baby has brought out the kid in Mike, even giving way to a few more cartoon watching Saturdays.

I am over joyed each day when Raphael does something new. Whether he makes a new sound or simply smiles even bigger, my heart melts. This kid has got a hold on me. I am going to have to work on saying no because his smile gets me every time. I cannot imagine life without him any more.

My Grandmother made this hat and sweater set. The hat is a little small already!

I think some days my heart wants to burst with love for this little one.

We didn't like this part of the photo shoot.

This is the month when Raphael has learned to grab, pull and pinch. Between cups at the table, my hair and various clothing pieces, he is quite the little grabber. We are getting to the point where everything needs to be processed through our mouth. A lot of slobbery toys have been washed lately.

 

Look at those chunky little legs!

Mike and I got pretty sick early this month. Thankfully Raphael was spared the pink eye and head cold. Mike's family was in for the weekend when were the sickest. They were a huge help getting things done around the house and taking care of (more like spoiling) Raphael.

And then I got the stomach flu later this month. That was not a fun experience. I got sick after Raphael had gone to bed, but those sweet hours of sleep were interrupted by my need to constantly be near the toilet.  Awesome. Not some of my best parenting that next day.

Overall, month number three was awesome! With the weather getting warmer and our little guy getting bigger I can only imagine the fun we will have.

Raphael: Two Months

I can hardly believe it, Raphael is two (as I write this, already three! the plight of motherhood, everything takes longer to do) months old. Everyday he is growing, learning and becoming even more of a little human. Month two was a big month for us, lots of changes in our life including daycare and back to work for me.

Here is what we did in month two:

We took a few baths. Raphael even learned that he didn't mind bath time! We had to bathe via sponge bath for most of this month due to Raphael's bellybutton not fully closing yet. We still need a follow up visit with the doctor before we can get in anything that looks like a real tub, sorry bud.

Bath time with our ducky towel

Such a little gentleman

Raphael played on his play mat. He even started batting at the monkeys! Mike and I listen to more "monkey music" at home that real music now. At least it plays Cannon in D.

But his real favorite toy is a ceramic snowman I had on the table. He talks to it with coos and giggles. I hope it snows a little longer so I can keep the snowman out without looking like I forgot what season it was! (update as I write this post, it has not snowed in a while...it is starting to look silly).

Two months flew by. I cannot imagine how the next 10 will go! I am trying to soak it all in as fast as I can. Luckily I take tons of photos.
And videos. 

Raphael has even started to sleep more than two hours at a time during the night. Not every night, but most. His record is 8 hours IN A ROW! 
That time is so precious to me. I am so thankful for those nights. It helps me get through those other not so great nights.

I returned to work full time this month. I was nervous about the whole bottle feeding thing, but just like the go-with-the-flow kid he is already, Raphael took it well. At first he was particular about the bottle and nipple being warm, but a few weeks in and the ladies at daycare mentioned he took the bottle cold, right out of the fridge. 





I have been able to steal away a few mornings a week to get a run in. Even a brief few miles leads me feeling re-engerized and ready to tackle the day. All the stars have to align in order for me to run, but some careful planning and the right feeding time has allowed me to get out the door. 



I can still hardly believe this wonderful little man is ours.





always, Erika

On Running This Season

I have developed a strange relationship with running and my season in life.  I feel pulled in two directions. Constantly. It is a little unnerving. It wasn't always like this.

On one hand, I want to spend as much time as possible with my little one. Especially since I am back to working 40 hours a week. It is hard to leave him each day and then get home each night to spend maybe 4 hours together before he is ready for sleep. I want to soak up as much cuddling, laughing and playing as possible. He is only going to be this little once.

On the other hand, I want to run. It feels great. I love the time doing one of my favorite activities. I love being outside, getting fresh air and tired legs. The strength running gives me makes me a better mother, a better wife. I find solace in being alone for even just a quick 3 miles. I miss running competitively. I miss the hard workouts followed by exhausting long runs that add mileage to my running log.

Plus add on top of that a very busy husband trying to make his way through medical school.

I create instant craziness in my head.

I go back and forth with this dilemma more that I care to admit. I spend more time worrying about the days that go by without a run then what I am going to make for dinner. I am in a constant state of battle within. I want to run, to be in shape but I want to be there for my son.

I ask myself where the middle ground is, where can I compromise. If I get less sleep will that really allow me to have a good run or will it just lead me to crankiness. Other mothers do it. It must all be possible. I can do it all.

The reality is, I can't. Not right now. Not given the circumstances, the life strings that are being pulled are not in my favor. Life has changed, so must this season of running.

I want it to be easier to admit, but the first stage of self-forgiveness must be admitting what I am doing wrong even when it is hard. It is hard to tell my inner collegiate athlete that running 6 miles a day just isn't going to happen right now.

But that is the important part of that realization. It isn't going to happen right now. Not that it won't in a month, a year or many moons from now. It is ok. Life has seasons, and my season is parenthood right now. Next season might get a little easier.

Writing it, speaking it out loud is good. I need that reconciliation with myself. I need to allow myself to embrace the change.

I know running will keep me healthy, help me get my body back. And I will do what I can, when I can. 5 am on days it works, in the dark when it doesn't. Being healthy can me a quick walk with the little guy, a swim or even a good 20 minute yoga session during nap time.

I need the grace from myself more than anything. More than new running shoes to help motivate, I need a long deep breath allowing myself to be ok with my wants, selfishly or unselfishly. I can make it through this.

It isn't going to happen now. But some day it will again. And I will be so glad.

(I still have that marathon and 100 mile race on my running to do list, don't worry)

This song sums up how I feel about running right now. Thank you Mumford and Sons.

Raphael: One Month

I can safely say I missed blogging for the last (almost) month. But what I did instead was much, much, much better. 

It included this:

And this:

And a little of this:

And a few of these:

And time with friends:

I have neglected my blog, I know, but the time spent with my little guy was so worth it.

Our first month was spent cuddling, taking baths, talking walks, taking naps and eating (so much eating!).

 I absolutely love being a mom. Even one month in, deciding to become parents is one of the best decisions my husband and I have ever made.

That being said, living on 6 hours of broken sleep at a time can be difficult. Phew.  I never thought I had the ability to wake every 2 hours to feed a hungry, crying child. I am getting used the schedule, which includes many naps. I enjoy all my hours nursing Raphael, but I get tired too. The first few days were rough. Not to mention that nursing makes you feel 20 pound heavier on top. 

Raphael had some jaundice, hence the light bright picture above, for the first few days of life. After a few blood test we got to get rid of the light, thank goodness. 

ok back to the baby. more post soon!

On Pregnancy: HE IS HERE!

                     Raphael Francis Albano

                     November 20th, 2012

                            8 lbs., 20-1/2"

I don't have too many words to write yet (or rather I have too many, it would be a long post!) about the whole experience. Regardless, having a baby was one of the best days of my life. He is wonderful, beautiful and perfect. 

(I promise there will be some birth story post soon!)


Ok, back to the baby!

Thankful: Pregnancy Edition

This is the post I need to write today. I am get very tired and frustrated. Pregnancy has been wonderful but I am ready to have this baby. And he does not want to be had yet. I need to remember what I am thankful for today.

Although I wrote this days before Thanksgiving (see the reason for doing so here!),  the things I have to be thankful for this year are so numerous I hope this post doesn't go on forever. I apologize in advance.


The things I am thankful for this year (yes, they are almost all pregnancy related!):

1. A loving and understanding husband. Even when hormones are high, he has been wonderful.
2. A healthy me. 
3. A healthy baby, to be born soon! so soon!
4. A pretty "easy" pregnancy. No complications, no issues. (Ok, pregnancy is not that easy but having it go well really makes it seem that much better!)
5. Maternity leave. Thank you work for being so generous in the time you allow mothers to have off.
6. A really great doctor who is kind and understanding.
7. A supportive family and friends. 
8. A safe home to bring our baby home to.
9. Naps. Thank you naps for making me feel better when I couldn't sleep a whole night.
10. Chips and dip. Thank you for tasting so good every day the last 10 months. 

So what are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?

Almost time for decorating the tree!

Pregnancy: Weeks 39 & 40

Looking big and incredibly tired. Almost done!

Weight:  203 lbs. (by the end of week 40 I have gained 60 lbs.) (and YES! for not gaining weight each week for the first time in 10 months!)

Weeks to Go: 0. 

What I feel: OH MY GOODNESS. WHY I AM STILL PREGNANT?!?!?! I WANT TO MEET MY BABY BOY!!!

And super whinny. I feel bad for being whinny. I know there are hundreds of women who cannot get pregnant and desperately wish they could. I am not trying to complain or be "one of those women who can never relish in the moment" but I have waited 10 whole months and just want to meet this wonderful bundle of joy!

As of 11/14, I started my maternity leave. By the time I refiled the paperwork, got my doctor to sign off and returned it to my HR department I might (hopefully!) have a newborn. I am enjoying my time off to relax, make some extra dinners, Christmas shop, get things ready for Thanksgiving, etc.. It is quality me time, which could be just the thing I need.  



What I look like:  Not many clothes fit now. I have a limited selection. All the more reason to have this baby!
 
I don't really feel bigger and bigger each day any more. I have maintained my weight the last few weeks as well. The nurse I see each week commented that I have "dropped" significantly, so let's go baby!

Oh Things I didn't know about pregnancy until now: Walking is my new best friend. I know they tell women on the onset of labor to get walking but even to get labor started walking is recommended. I have been thinking of places or things to walk to. Church, the store, the gym (to walk some more), the grocery store, the mall, parking far away in a parking lot; you name it I walk to it!

Timeline happenings: As I write this we have less than one week to have this baby naturally or else.

At my last appointment the doctor talked to me about setting up a cesaren section due to a couple of factors:
1. I have only dilated 1 cm so far. 
2. I am past my due date/
3. Judging from the last ultra sound where the baby was weighting 8 lbs. 7 oz., I might have a baby that is too big for me to delivery naturally. 

I am a little sad about this option. It was not the birthing plan I had wanted but in the end a healthy baby is all that really matters to me. I have been healthy for 10 whole months, so there is no reason to complain about having to change plans. 

We have the c-section planned for November 23rd (Yeah Black Friday baby!). I have a week to get my body to go into labor before then. I really do want to do this thing my myself but I am mentally preparing for the surgery. I know everything will work out the way it is suppose to, it just is a little sad knowing I might not get the whole "let's be in labor for 19 hours experience."

And we have started walking at least an hour a day, plus eating spicy food, plus anything else we can do naturally to get this baby moving!

      

Things for Baby: We have received additional gifts in the last few weeks, which is so very much appreciated!

We also got an early Christmas gift of a new camera so we can catch all the memories when our little on gets here. I can't wait to take a billion pictures of him!

Speaking of billions of pictures...I am not going to spend all my blogging time bragging about out little one (only about 60% of my time, maybe). I set up a website to share photos with family and friends who might not view the blog as often. If you want more pictures and updates head on over here.

And the Husband says:  We should walk more.

Pregnancy: Weeks 37 & 38

Weight:  202 lbs. (by the end of week 36 I have gained 59 lbs.)

Weeks to Go: 2. Really, 15 days until my estimated due date.

What I feel: Anxious, still. And tired. And big.

A lot of people at work keeping saying "you are still here?". Why yes, I am. Although I am wishing I was at home snuggling with a newborn. I can't say my coworkers aren't nice about it, they just sound really surprised when I am in the office each morning.
I am working from home in the afternoon which allows me to at least put on p.j.'s and put my feet up. Thank goodness!



We are just waiting now. And I am so excited I think I am terribly impatient. I have caught up with Downton Abbey so now there is really nothing to look forward to until he gets here!

Oh, also, does everyone at my work get sick this time of year? I have seriously cleaned my desk area every day to stop the infections I know are flying around. One of my co-workers has a nasty habit of taking pieces of paper into the bathroom on his way to the copier. Yikes! I am a germ-a-phob at this point and this does not help. I am hesitant to mention it to him as it might be a awkward conversation, but icky!


What I look like:  Very round! I think I have "rounded" out in the last few weeks. As a result of a still growing fetus, I am also still growing. Out mainly. But around the hip areas as well.

Oh, and I have a few stretch marks. Not pretty. I broke down and bought some coconut butter cream to reduce the appearance. I am hoping with some tough workouts and long runs in the future they will be reduced any further. Oh the joys of motherhood!

Oh Things I didn't know about pregnancy until now: Braxton Hicks contractions feel like real ones. Only difference is they go away after a while. And they go away if you lay down versus sitting up. What fun! Fake contractions!

I had a recent doctor's visit where they monitored the baby and found he is very active (yes, my bladder knows that too) and I have pretty steady contractions sometimes. Still just getting ready the nurse said. Oh boo. No October for us.

Timeline happenings: We have now reached full term! YA! 
Which means this little guy can come any day now. And I mean ANY DAY.

Things for Baby: We had a lovely shower at my work the other day and received a fun play mat toy for the baby. I am excited to have play time with him and use this cute play mat. It even has 20 minutes of music! 

And the Husband says: "Go ahead and lie down. I will make dinner."-Thank you. Those are some of the sweetest words known to a mother-to-be.

"Next year we can use our Zoo coupons!" -We buy a local coupon book every year from one of the kids around the neighborhood and it always includes several buy one get one free coupons for the zoo for kids under 12. Finally we can use it next year!

On Pregnancy: Nesting

This is serious. Nesting is real and virtually uncontrollable for me.

For the last few weeks I have been unstoppable. Ok, not really unstoppable because I get tired and then want to take a 2 hour nap and then I need to eat...but almost.

Every minute of every day could be filled with things around the house I need to do.

Here is just a sampling of all the house things I have done in the last few weeks:

clean the kitchen. everyday.
organized our baby's clothing. several times. i even bought more hangers.
packed and repacked my hospital bag.
vacuumed. several more times than usual.
refused to wash the pots and pans in the dishwasher so i do it by hand.
do laundry like no one's business.
clean out my closet. several times.
cleaned out the basement storage.
spent hours last night cleaning up my computer of old files.
redecorated our living room with a gallery wall. thank you pinterest.
and probably drove my husband nuts in the whole process.
oh and I currently want to clean the fridge. that will happen tonight i am sure.

I feel like everything must be emmaculate before the baby arrives. As if he will even know the space between the stove and the counter isn't clean?!

I think I am ready for this baby. I might drive everyone around me nuts if this continues for 3 whole weeks.

Oh baby.

at least my fridge is clean. 
 

(oh and thanks for dealing with my random background changes. the other background loaded so slowly! It needed "nesting" help too!)

Pregnancy: Weeks 35 & 36

And a baby will make three!

Weight:  198 lbs. (by the end of week 36 I have gained 55 lbs.)

Weeks to Go: 4 (A MONTH!!!)

What I feel: Big. Tired. Cranky.
Pregnancy, in all it's glowing and beauty, is starting to wear me down. I am still working 40 hours a week and by the time 5 pm rolls around I am done. Very often in these last few weeks I have been coming home, eating, sleeping, waking up for a few hours, eating again and going back to bed. I am exhausted. Next week I am going to work half a day in the office and half the day at home, where I least I can work in my p.j.'s AND put my feet up. They are killing me.

Phew. Are we done yet?




What I look like:  Bigger. I swear there is no more room to go but he keeps growing. I cannot see my feet any longer.

Oh and clothes. Don't. Fit. 
Tops are too short, pants don't cover my belly. Some days I think I look like a hot mess.

Oh Things I didn't know about pregnancy until now: We had an ultrasound at week 34 and found out the baby was 5 lbs. 1 oz.. Go team Albano for making a strong little guy!

And then the nurse told me he could gain up to a pound a week. 

A what? A pound a week? 

Now I know they said up to, so he could gain half a pound for all I know. But seriously? That doesn't alarm anyone? The nurse told me he will be strong and healthy. Like heck he will, he'll be a freaking body builder if he gets to 11 lbs (6 weeks left at that time x 1 lb. per week = 6 lbs. + already 5 lbs. = 11 lbs.). Say it with me now, my goodness!!

I am praying for a healthy baby no matter what, but 11 lbs. sounds outrageous. 
Oh. My.

Timeline happenings: I think I am driving myself nuts with trying to figure out when this bundle of joy will be in my arms. I keep trying to estimated, calculate and analyze when I think he will be here.

He will come when he is ready. I have to deal with that.
 

Things for Baby: We now have a bouncy seat, a pack n' play, stroller and car seat sitting in our living room waiting for baby. And this ends the having fragile things in our living room phase for a long time.

And the Husband says: One day I was experiencing some contractions (most likely the Braxton-Hicks kind) and I e-mailed my husband telling him I felt a few faint ones. He stopped by my work on his way home to make sure I was ok. He rushed in, probably thinking the worst, like my water had also broken in the time I e-mailed him and the time he got there. Nope, just little contractions getting me ready for the big day.

 I think he is getting pretty excited (and a little nervous). 

Pregnancy: Weeks 33 & 34

Weight:  192 lbs. (by the end of week 32 I have gained 49 lbs.)

Weeks to Go: 6 (STILL A SINGLE DIGIT!!)

What I feel: HEARTBURN. Like no one's business. Once this week I was napping on the couch, woke up, started coughing because of the heartburn and then threw up. Yes. The beauty of pregnancy. Oh my goodness it felt like my throat was on fire. Worst kind of sick I have been in a while. I had to sleep sitting up for a few nights. Not a fun part of pregnancy.

This last month and a half seems to be crawling by. Perhaps it is because I am so excited and very anxious. Or maybe it's because every where I look I see babies. Oh due date, come a little faster!




What I look like:  Big, blonde and beautiful. Kind of. Not blonde. But big and beautiful for sure! I have gained a good amount of weight this last trimester but I still feel really good. I am running out of clothes as each days passes but I only need to hold out a while longer (right baby?) !!

Oh Things I didn't know about pregnancy until now: Apparently talking to a pregnant woman means you can tell her your entire life's story including the scary and sad baby stories. I have heard stories about hard deliveries, early deliveries, missed due dates, over due babies, why some people can't get pregnant, baby throw up, how to calm babies, why some women hire babysitters and don't go to daycare, freak accidents where babies are dropped (thankfully into the couch or a laundry bin), how hot their summer pregnancy was, the amount of time spent in labor, divorce and babies, and random stories about how birth order affects children. 

Now I don't mind hearing stories, or listening to people's advice, it was just a surprise to me that people would be so open to sharing all their intimate baby moments with me even though some times they barely know me. It must be some sort of therapy for them. The least I can do is listen.

Timeline happenings: Getting so close. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel! 
We have picked out a baby name by the end of this 34th week and yes, it is still a secret that no one knows. It will be a great surprise. (Hint: I LOVE the name and it was a mutual decision between my husband and I).
 
I have also been being "pinning" a lot of baby things on Pinterest. Go ahead and check it out. Say awe a few times. Feel like having babies.

We got another ultrasound at week 34. I am now the proud soon-to-be-mother of a baby with five fingers on at least one of this hands. All he would do was make fist or wave to us so the only ultra sound picture I have is of his hands. He is head down, feet up during this ultrasound. The technician mentioned that at this point he probably won't flip around anymore because he is running out of room. Yes, my bladder thanks you for that baby.

 

Things for Baby: I think we might have enough stuff now. Although you never know...we are still debating on a bassinet. That might be a 10 pm Target purchase in our future. 

I also have a guilty pleasure. BABY CLOTHES! They are so darn cute. I know it is probably silly hang them up but they look so cute there! One of my favorite outfits says "Mommy's Little Monster". Perfect.

And the Husband says: "Your house is still getting bigger" --referring to my rather larger than life belly which seems to be expanding at an exponential rate! 

Lately we have been trying to spend as much time as possible doing us things. Eating ice cream, watching Downton Abbey and comedy shows. It has been nice to soak up some couple time before the baby makes 3.